To the stars

We are going to live very differently if we start looking more often at the night sky. Imagine it is the beginning of summer. A July summer night. You are at the beach, on a mountain or in the city. You can be the busiest person and you can be the most careless one, but that doesn’t matter when you look up at the night sky full of bright stars which may seem like small shiny dots. It’s like someone has spilled a jar full of glitter on a black piece of paper. Wherever you look this is all you see. Dark, beautiful and endless. At some point you start losing yourself. Don’t be afraid to lose yourself, you can always come back of course only if you want to. This will help you to start thinking in a different way. Different than your everyday thoughts. You start forgetting where you are, who you are and you realize that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter who you are on the Earth because when you look up you become whoever you want to be. You become the person you have dreamed to be your whole life. You don’t have any limits anymore. Imagine while you are looking up someone or something somewhere in the Universe is also looking at the same sky and wishes it can be like you. It is incredible that we know almost nothing about that shiny black wall and what is it hiding and probably we will never find out, but it is always interesting to step outside our comfort zone and think about this. The possibilities are endless and the best thing is that we will never find out. That’s why it can be whatever we want it to be. Anything we want, everything we don’t have or anything we want it to be.

A lot of people search for an escape from the reality they live in everyday and this is probably one of the best escapes. It can open your eyes for a lot more possibilities. If there is a time where you feel like you want to run away just look up. This will always be your world, shaped only by you. Everything will be okay there. Go for a little bit it will help you. It is even better if you do it more often. It is important to disconnect from reality from time to time otherwise we will go insane and the stars are the most beautiful way to do that.

There was a time when I was also searching for an escape and I found it when I started looking at the beautiful night sky. I liked it way too much and I never came back…

 

Living in your own world

It is important having your own world, but is also important not to get lost in it. We all need a place where we can be alone and where we can be ourselves. We are not the people who everyone thinks we are. Even we are not often sure who we are. It is great when people know this and it doesn’t matter what everyone one tells them. It is important to have a place where you are number one priority and where you can get lost for a little bit and just clear your mind from everything is going on in your life. Otherwise at some point you will go crazy. It is important having a place where everything is perfect and you can forget for the rest of the world for a little bit. Where you are who ever you want to be and nobody can tell you anything.

Don’t listen to anyone who tells you need to more realistic and serious. I am a realist as well, but I do have my own little perfect world where I am the girl I actually want to be and everything is in pink and purple. I would be really depressed if I focused only on the real negative world where there is a lot of evil happening. Whenever I start feeling sad I just go to my world and for a moment everything gets better and when you return to the world around you everything seems just a little bit better and not so awful.

Another thing you also need to remember is that it is great having your own world, but also no need to be careful not to get carried away and get lost in it. You need to know what is real and what is not because that may cost you a lot. Go for a little bit to your special place, but never forget to come back, otherwise you will just be lost and no one will know how to help you. You may even start losing friends just because you look like you’re living in another universe and no matter what you just can’t go back down to Earth. 

So, if you don’t have your own world, go on and create it right now. It is going to be possibly the only perfect thing in your life, but is all in your head so it can be whatever you want to be. The important thing is to know how to get back to reality whenever you start feeling better after visiting your special place. And if you do, go on, make it even more perfect, use it more often. You’re going to feel better and never listen to anyone who makes you stop having your own world.

It does get better

I’m going to tell you a little bit more about myself. 

I am 18-years-old. I haven’t achieved much in the last 18 years because just recently I found out that not everything is so bad and awful and also that I actually have a passion and now I know what I want to do with my life

From ages 7-13 when I was growing up I was a really good girl and I always did whatever they tell me. I did what I had to, I did everything on time, everything was perfect. That made me fear making a mistake. All my life I have had problems with my self-esteem and I’ve never considered myself ”beautiful” or whatever. Other people helped believe that that was true and there is nothing good in me. I act like I don’t care, but it still hurts.. 

One day it was September again and I turned 14 and I had to switch schools.When I moved in the beginning everything was fine. With the time going by I became more anxious and I started thinking no one wants to talk with me no matter what the reason was. That’s why I didn’t talk to anyone. I distanced myself from everyone. I shut down. I was constantly thinking that if I wasn’t there it will be better for everyone. I couldn’t.. well I still can’t talk to my teachers and some of my classmates without shaking and worrying not to say something wrong . The first year was like that. Then I was in 9th grade.I was already mentally tired and I stopped caring about a lot of things. I wasn’t sad anymore. I didn’t cry. I couldn’t. Everything was whatever. I just wanted everything to end. At that time a person came into my life. He made me fall in love for the first time and I was actually feeling something for the first time in a while. My biggest fear was losing him because if I did I was left with nothing. Of course that happened 2 years later. I was broken. I didn’t want to do anything. I was numb and everything was pointless.I didn’t want to go out, I didn’t sleep and that was until I got used to him not being there.

Exactly when I started getting better, I met my second love. Everything was perfect in the beginning, but I now I had a fear that it will happen like the last time. I was acting really cold, well when I had the chance. It didn’t work. I got even more attached, but now I knew that there will come a day when he will leave and I had to be fine with it. 

Now, a year later, I started realizing more important things. I realized there was actually one thing I really loved and it gave purpose to my useless up until now life (or what I thought).  And that is writing. When I write, that is me. No one can tell me anything and I like that. It was a way for me not to go crazy. If I hadn’t found out that I like doing it probably I was going to be insane now. I want to do that and actually use it in my life. The second important thing that I realized is that if you know who you are it doesn’t matter what anyone else is saying.It is important to know who you are and what you are capable of. I realized I don’t need anyone to feel ”beautiful” or to feel like I am worth it. I know who I am and I am perfectly fine alone. And the third really important thing is that there is always a way, not everything is as awful as I thought and there is a reason why we are on this planet. Some of us find it earlier, and some of us find it later. The most important thing is to never give up because there is a reason for you to be here. If you don’t know it right now, keep going and eventually you will find out.