Can’t find yourself lost in your lies

It is really sad when you have been hurt so bad to the point that you can’t trust anyone anymore. To the point where you don’t to have a close person, you won’t let anyone know the real you and that is why you start lying. You lie to others, you lie about you, but you are just trying to fool yourself. You think you don’t need anyone and you can do everything by yourself, even if you know that is not true.There comes a time when you have told so many lies you don’t know who you are. And when the right person for you comes you won’t understand just from fear of being hurt again.It is sad because there are actually people who would do everything for you. They will put themselves second so you can be their first priority. But there is no why you will understand this because you are so used to telling a lie after lie as a defensive shield so you won’t let anyone in. At some point this person will get tired of doing absolutely everything for you and in return he receives only cold behavior. When this person finally leaves and you don’t find another one, you will understand that there was a person who really loves you no matter what but because of you fear of being hurt, you hurt the person who loved you the most and who would give everything for you in the same way that you have been hurt before. That led to you being caught in a web of lies. You will never escape you, you are way to used to it. Nothing, not even true love will save you from yourself. Just know that for the people that you hurt you are the person that are actually running from. Just like you they will probably never trust anyone again.. 

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